It all happened on a rainy early April Friday night. Actually, I don’t know if it was raining. This is LA and this was over a month ago now and, as Tony! Toni! Toné! once said, it never rains in Southern California. Where was I? Oh, right! It was a Friday night, in April, in Downtown LA. I had been on Mariah Carey-level vocal rest all week and I was prepared to sing my heart’s song. And that song was “Niggas in Paris” by Watch the Throne AKA legendary hip-hop artists/moguls/entrepreneurs/people who have way more money than me, Jay-Z and Kanye West. Garrett joined me as the Jay-Z to my Kanye and we proved to these people that they should not let us get into our zone. #SLAY #fishfilet #iwaspromisedwatchthethrone2
Anyway, let’s recap the night, shall we? Tears were shed. Blood was shed. Lives were lost. Babies were born. It was a circle of life. Okay, literally none of that happened obviously. We just all
got really wasted had a few Zimas and screamed into microphones sang along at a respectable volume to some of our favorite songs.
Adam attempted to warm the crowd up with a sort-of-drinking-game-definitely-an-assault-on-our-earballs version of The Police classic “Roxanne."
Darroll had to provide an assist from the bench on the Destiny’s Child anthem “Bills Bills Bills." He just wants to know if you can pay his automo-bills, straight pay his telephone bills, y’all.
Elena led an enthusiastic rendition of Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Call Me Maybe”. How I avoided learning any of the lyrics to this overplayed song I will never know but it’s one of my proudest achievements in life.
Garrett asked if anybody could sing Andre 3000’s “Hey Ya.” I happily obliged with a “Oh Hell yasss, Trick!” and made sure that all the Beyoncés and Lucy Lius were shaking it like a Polaroid picture.
This is what happens when the GLCO retail dudes show up to a function. 0 to 100 REAL quick. Shoutout to Betz, Bobby V. and Jason C. for coming through.
Presented without comment. This is just amazing. (I guess that was a comment) I SEE PIZZA IN THIS PICTURREEEEEE!!!!! (I’m hungry now. Anyone reading this, send food. ☹)
GLCO Clan ain’t nothin’ to fuck wit.
Amber came through with a true crowd-pleaser: TLC’s “No Scrubs.” A mantra we can all get behind. Garrett was officially feeling himself at this point (I think we all were tbh).
The night quickly devolved into a Garrett Vs. Everybody rap battle but not before Darroll earned the title of Karaoke MVP for the most heartfelt/only interpretation of Natasha Bedfield’s “Unwritten” sung by a black man and a rousing performance of Whitney Houston’s “I’m Every Woman." You ARE every woman, Darroll. And for that we thank you.
Shot on disposable camera purchased at the local drug storeTM